The First Evil (asta77) wrote,
The First Evil
asta77

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You All Know What This Entry Is About :)

Before I cut away due to length, (What, you thought this would be short?) I'd like to thank you guys for your understanding and support. It means a lot to me. I knew you were all great friends already, but I didn't relize how far some of you were willing to go. Thank you.

And a special shout out to blondeheroine who said what I wanted to say (and better) but chose not to until this all came to fruition.

To begin with, I wasn't going to dwell much on this and stated so to she-who-determines-board-status. Of course, that was before the second PM I received and my mind started to realize some things.

Apparently, there are spys among us. Now, I know I've made my LJ public and am well aware that anyone can read this. If I had a problem with that concept, I would have made it private. I also know how information between LJ's, boards, etc spreads. Again, I have no problem with that. Nor do I fault people who just choose to lurk or read and not post. Heck, I do it myslef.

What I do have a problem with is the cowardly individual who takes issue with what I have to say, says nothing to me directly, but runs off after their fact finding tour to inform others. And it's not just happening to me. I came to the conclusion that some unamed minion has been gathering intel for sometime when the 'clique' (more on that shortly) was also refered to as the LJ clique. Plus, another LJer was deleted from the board because she was reportedly bashing a board member. Turns out this supposed bashing was done on an LJ and sometime ago. So, my friends, we are being watched. If you value your board status, curb your opinions on Your Journal.

Honestly, I'm not even sure my LJ post had anything to do with bing eradicated from the BBB (now I'm lost to the history books forever ::sniff, sniff::). I don't think the comments I made last week are any more harsh then ones I made in the Rants Forum at the end of season six when things began to go downhill. At that time I thought I was going to be banned. The threats I received to that effect were only slightly more subtle than the one I received yesterday.

My conclusion that it was only a matter of time was reinforced by Phoenix. In a last ditch effort, I PM'd her to, not apologize for the way I felt, but if I in anyway offended her personally. That was never my intent, but I was made to believe feelings had been hurt and that was the farthest thing from my mind at the time of my original post.

When I was informed that was not the case, but involved my well known long standing feelings about the board, my "bickering" on the board (insert laughter here), and that my mere presence in chat was forcing others to stay out. So, apparently, this was a long time in coming.

It seemed to me that it was chat that was the huge issue. I'm a bit flumoxed by this. First off, there are other people in chat who never post on the board. Heck, there are even a couple that don't watch Buffy or Angel. Second, since I hate the board I'm a hypocrite and leach for using the chat room. I admit my distatse for the board in regards to Buffy and Angel, but there are other parts that I do like and I quite like the vast majority of members there. Hence, my wanting to keep in contact with them. Yes, there are other ways to do that, it was just the easiest at times. I just wish someone had let me know sooner my hanging out there was such a board disturbance.

The thing that really interests me in this chat room discussion is the power I apparently wielded and never knew I had! People actually told Phoenix they wouldn't go in there because of me. I had no idea I was that intimidating.

Now, this also ties in with my 'clique'. May I say I hate that word. The fact that it was even used by a woman in her 30's(?) in regards to other women of a similar age is dumbfounding to me. I was never even in a clique in High School, but have apparently found one at 31.

I'll be interested to hear of the vast hordes of people rushing into chat now that myself and one of my partners in crime, Jonesie, won't be there. I'm sure I'll her about it with the 76 bloody trombones sounding to herald my exit. Hope it doesn't get too crowded in there now. Then again, unless I'm mistaken, many of my fellow LJers and clique members are still there. Hmmm.
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