The First Evil (asta77) wrote,
The First Evil

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I Can Only Hope There Is A Special Place in Hell for Rick Berman and George Lucas

Apparently, I will be spared seeing the Enterprise finale. Even though I double checked my TV listings, a basketball game aired instead of the show. It's probably for the best since everyone I know who has seen it is pretty damn mad about it.

This afternoon I saw Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith or How I'll Never Have those Two and a Quarter Hours of My Life Back. My review will be full of spoilers and bitterness, so quit reading now if you haven't seen it or if you enjoyed it.

I just realized if you rearrange the letters in 'Sith' you get Shit. That seems appropriate. To be fair, I did like three things about the film...

Ewan MacGregor, who somehow managed to rise above such a poorly conceived script and recite dialogue not heard since the days of Ed Wood. Unlike every other character in this film, I felt his anguish and sympathized with him.

I'm still at a loss of exactly why Anakin succombed to the dark side, but the moment in which he gets suckered by Palpatine, murders one of his own, and realizes what he's just done is a fairly powerful moment.

The only other moving moment for me occurs during the Anakin/Obi Wan duel. We are vividly shown why Anakin needs Vader's suit to survive and Hayden shows he has some acting chops.

Oh, and did anyone else catch the Millenium Falcon? OK, it might not have been the Falcon, but it was the same class of ship. Seeing the early versions of the X-Wing, Tie Fighter, and the Rebel Cruiser were kinda cool.

As for the rest of the film, here's a list of my major problems.....

- I'd like to know at what point George convinced himself that all us dumb folks in the audiance care about is flashy effects and not characterization. If you asked me to list my favorite moments from the first trilogy, I'd be hard pressed to name an effects shot. The first 10-15 minutes of this film was devoted to a lengthy space battle that added nothing to the story. Palpatine's kidnapping was obviously a set up, but we never learned for what purpose. And instead of having every other line out of Anakin and Padme's mouth be "I love you" why not show us WHY they love each other? Hell, Anakin and Obi Wan were hotter together. As were Chewie and Yoda. ;)

- Anakin goes to the dark side to save the woman he loves? Uh, yeah, OK. Forget that he was apparently a creation of the Sith. Or that he's had anger management issues since childhood (the Jedi belief of burying your feelings can't have helped that). Or that Yoda confides to Obi Wan, oops, we may have screwed up translating the prophecy regarding the Chosen One (insert your own Buffy joke here). There's also Anakin's immaturity, impatience, and sense of entitlement. All of this is rich material that could have been explored. But, no, we're told the most feared man in the galaxy did it all for love. Don't even get me started on how his pregnant wife is willing to run off with him after she hears he's slaughtered children. :(

- Padme is in perfect health and dies of a broken heart. PUH-LEEZE. She had nothing left to live for without her Ani. Oh, wait, except for her two children. Well, I guess she at least served her purpose of popping out future Jedi. ::rollseyes::

- Why did C-3PO get his mind wiped and not R2-D2? Didn't they both have knowledge of Luke and Leia's existence?

- And let me get to The thing that really pissed me off. Perhaps George doesn't believe in a little thing I like to call continuity. Or maybe he just thinks were so in awe of his brilliance we won't notice his frack up. From Return of the Jedi:

Luke: you remember your mother? Your real mother?

Leia: Just a little bit. She died when I was very young.

Luke: What do you remember?

Leia: Just...images, really. Feelings.

Luke: Tell me.

Leia: She was very beautiful. Kind, but...sad.

PADME DIDN'T DIE IN CHILDBIRTH!!! But, I suppose if George chose to stick to canon it would have deprived him of his funeral worthy of Juliet.

- James Earl Jones did not appear in the credits. I don't blame him. His "Noooooooo!!!" had me in tears...of laughter.

I'll try to get a vacation recap up soon. Thus far, besides SW all I've done is sleep and slowly catch up on the TV I missed. I was contemplating going into work to catch up on some stuff tomorrow, but I'm not sure I'm motivated to do it now.
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