Asta 2

I Can Only Hope There Is A Special Place in Hell for Rick Berman and George Lucas

Apparently, I will be spared seeing the Enterprise finale. Even though I double checked my TV listings, a basketball game aired instead of the show. It's probably for the best since everyone I know who has seen it is pretty damn mad about it.

This afternoon I saw Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith or How I'll Never Have those Two and a Quarter Hours of My Life Back. My review will be full of spoilers and bitterness, so quit reading now if you haven't seen it or if you enjoyed it.

I just realized if you rearrange the letters in 'Sith' you get Shit. That seems appropriate. To be fair, I did like three things about the film...

Ewan MacGregor, who somehow managed to rise above such a poorly conceived script and recite dialogue not heard since the days of Ed Wood. Unlike every other character in this film, I felt his anguish and sympathized with him.

I'm still at a loss of exactly why Anakin succombed to the dark side, but the moment in which he gets suckered by Palpatine, murders one of his own, and realizes what he's just done is a fairly powerful moment.

The only other moving moment for me occurs during the Anakin/Obi Wan duel. We are vividly shown why Anakin needs Vader's suit to survive and Hayden shows he has some acting chops.

Oh, and did anyone else catch the Millenium Falcon? OK, it might not have been the Falcon, but it was the same class of ship. Seeing the early versions of the X-Wing, Tie Fighter, and the Rebel Cruiser were kinda cool.

As for the rest of the film, here's a list of my major problems.....

- I'd like to know at what point George convinced himself that all us dumb folks in the audiance care about is flashy effects and not characterization. If you asked me to list my favorite moments from the first trilogy, I'd be hard pressed to name an effects shot. The first 10-15 minutes of this film was devoted to a lengthy space battle that added nothing to the story. Palpatine's kidnapping was obviously a set up, but we never learned for what purpose. And instead of having every other line out of Anakin and Padme's mouth be "I love you" why not show us WHY they love each other? Hell, Anakin and Obi Wan were hotter together. As were Chewie and Yoda. ;)

- Anakin goes to the dark side to save the woman he loves? Uh, yeah, OK. Forget that he was apparently a creation of the Sith. Or that he's had anger management issues since childhood (the Jedi belief of burying your feelings can't have helped that). Or that Yoda confides to Obi Wan, oops, we may have screwed up translating the prophecy regarding the Chosen One (insert your own Buffy joke here). There's also Anakin's immaturity, impatience, and sense of entitlement. All of this is rich material that could have been explored. But, no, we're told the most feared man in the galaxy did it all for love. Don't even get me started on how his pregnant wife is willing to run off with him after she hears he's slaughtered children. :(

- Padme is in perfect health and dies of a broken heart. PUH-LEEZE. She had nothing left to live for without her Ani. Oh, wait, except for her two children. Well, I guess she at least served her purpose of popping out future Jedi. ::rollseyes::

- Why did C-3PO get his mind wiped and not R2-D2? Didn't they both have knowledge of Luke and Leia's existence?

- And let me get to The thing that really pissed me off. Perhaps George doesn't believe in a little thing I like to call continuity. Or maybe he just thinks were so in awe of his brilliance we won't notice his frack up. From Return of the Jedi:

Luke: Leia...do you remember your mother? Your real mother?

Leia: Just a little bit. She died when I was very young.

Luke: What do you remember?

Leia: Just...images, really. Feelings.

Luke: Tell me.

Leia: She was very beautiful. Kind, but...sad.

PADME DIDN'T DIE IN CHILDBIRTH!!! But, I suppose if George chose to stick to canon it would have deprived him of his funeral worthy of Juliet.

- James Earl Jones did not appear in the credits. I don't blame him. His "Noooooooo!!!" had me in tears...of laughter.

I'll try to get a vacation recap up soon. Thus far, besides SW all I've done is sleep and slowly catch up on the TV I missed. I was contemplating going into work to catch up on some stuff tomorrow, but I'm not sure I'm motivated to do it now.
  • Current Mood: frustrated frustrated
My favorite moment was the gynecological cone around Padme's nethers, like she's a dog who's going to chew out her own stitches.

Well, apparently it's OK to see a guy's limbs chopped off before he nearly burns to death, but we must be spared from seeing a woman give birth! It amazes me that Leia turned out to be a reasonably strong female character. Oh, wait, we were spared Lucas's writing on 'Empire' and 'Jedi'.

I can't fathom how this was viewed as an improvement over the other two either. Jar Jar was seen but not heard, the brat kid version of Anakin was missing, and it was darker in tone. It's sad if those things qualify the film for improved. Silly me still looks for good dialogue and a plot that maikes sense. Did you read the New Yorker review of the film? It's one of the funniest things I've ever read.
Totally agree. It was unintentionally funny at times, the dialogue seemed to be taped at a playground where some six-year-olds played starwars.

And yes, the characters all seemed void. Padme is merely a clothes-mannequin plus baby-vessel, Anakin looks hot but could have used the "I'm-so-evil-look" a little less inflationary, and if a cgi'd character does some of the best acting, well.

And the fried-vader-images were rather disturbing.
My mother wondered if it took him longer than five minutes to write the script. Any one of us here on our worst day could have written a far superior script.

if a cgi'd character does some of the best acting, well.

Yoda was probably the only good example of what CGI can do when it's used to enhance the story not substitute for story. There were moments in the film I forgot he wasn't real....until he started spewing that horrible dialogue.
I was waiting for Obi-Wan or Yoda to realize that the prophecy was exactly right: Anakin was supposed to bring balance to the Force. He did. In the end there were two Jedi and two Sith. How on Earth (er, I mean Coruscant, or whatever) did Obi-Wan think balance meant 'wiping out the dark side'?
Exactly!! Ive been saying very much that for a while now. You need two equal sides for balance.
Yeah, I'm pretty much with you on everything. Although, I'm nothing even approaching a Star Wars fan, so I was entertained since I didn't expect anything.

Anakin's turn did make sense to me, although I thought it was rushed. But to me, it wasn't strictly about Padme...she was sort of the final straw and the thing that allowed him to turn and fool himself that he was doing the right thing. But I still think his initial insecurities and anger played as big a part. Really it was the lack of respect of the council, Yoda's *total* enablement ("Learn to not depend on the things you care about"...great advice, genius...Joss could've warned you that severing a Slayer's Jedi's connections to the world will just lead to trouble), and the proof, in the form of Windu trying to assassinate Palpatine, that the Council wasn't quite so noble as he'd believed. All that said, the only moment that really made me "oooh" was when Palpatine tells him he killed Padme. I may not have totally bought his turn to the darkside, but that moment made me understand why he stayed so solidly on the darkside in the future.

Padme? Straight up sucked. And that hurts to say, as I really do adore Nat. But I can't believe the same man responsible for creating Princess Leia created such a total wimp of a heroine. Or are we supposed to believe that women's lib advanced so far in the next 20 years? Blech. More and more I'm starting to feel like the characters worked in the first three films because the actors were willing to take over...Carrie Fisher was just so cynical and smartassish that she made Princess Leia seem sassier than the dialogue did, and there's just so many examples of Harrison Ford pretty much doing whatever he wanted that I'm thinking he was more responsible for those films not sinking into such total earnestness as the final trilogy did.

Why did C-3PO get his mind wiped and not R2-D2? Didn't they both have knowledge of Luke and Leia's existence?

I thought they were both wiped. But if not, since R2 never speaks any dialogue, there's no need to retcon any comments he makes like he doesn't know who Luke and Leia are. Him knowing who they are the entire time, doesn't really influence how Episodes IV-VI play out, while 3PO's knowing would screw up everything he says later on.
Yoda's *total* enablement ("Learn to not depend on the things you care about"...great advice, genius...Joss could've warned you that severing a Slayer's Jedi's connections to the world will just lead to trouble)

An interesting aspect of the films - had they chose to really explore it - is that the Jedi led to their own downfall as well as that of the Republic. Burying their feelings instead of dealing with them, cutting themselves off from connecting with people, and insulating themselves from what was going on around them allowed Palpatine to manipulate first the Senate and then Anakin.

and the proof, in the form of Windu trying to assassinate Palpatine, that the Council wasn't quite so noble as he'd believed.

That moment was a bit problematic for me in that Anakin had assasinated Count Dooku and immediately knew it was a mistake. Then again Dooku was evil and Anakin still believed Palpatine to be doing what was best for the Republic. Not to mention Windu was a Master Jedi and, in Anakin's mind, he probably believed that meant he wouldn't have the same lapses in judgement as he had had.

But I can't believe the same man responsible for creating Princess Leia created such a total wimp of a heroine.

Keep in mind that 'Empire' and 'Jedi' were both written and directed by people other than Lucas. And from what I've heard/read, on 'Empire' Irvin Kershner did allow the actors input as to how their characters were being presented.

As for R2, his data could easily be downloaded so I would think it would have been a wise move to erase his memory as well. But since Lucas seemed to have ignored the fact that Padme hadn't died in child birth, he probably didn't see this as an issue either. :/
Where was it?? Where was the Falcon?
Yeah Padme dying of a broken heart was tres lame. Unless she died because of giving birth to Luke and leia, who are powerful in the force (well luke is and Leia a bit). She was really bad in this film. So many holes and just a few good bits.
The Falcon appeared fairly early in the film. I can't recall precisely what scene it was, but Anakin or Obi-Wan's ship was flying into a docking station and below their ship was a ship that looked exactly like the Falcon. It was a blink and you missed it moment.

The birth of Luke and Leia didn't appear to be much of a strain on Padme. Though, if there had been mention that they were draining her life source or something at least that would have been slightly less lame than the broken heart theory.
In his mind, childbirth, but it really all turned out to be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Had he not turned to the darkside and made a deal with Palpatine to save her, she wouldn't have died of a broken heart. Good grief, I can't believe I just typed that. :(
Padme is in perfect health and dies of a broken heart. PUH-LEEZE. She had nothing left to live for without her Ani. Oh, wait, except for her two children. Well, I guess she at least served her purpose of popping out future Jedi. ::rollseyes::

I think that might be the stupidest part of the whole movie. Healthy young women do not die of a broken heart, and I would think Padme would feel protective enough of her newborn children that she would want to live for them. Apparently, there was a subplot cut from the movie about Padme starting what would become the Rebel Alliance, which would at least have given her something to do other than give birth and die.
Apparently, there was a subplot cut from the movie about Padme starting what would become the Rebel Alliance, which would at least have given her something to do other than give birth and die.

Well, damn, that would have helped a lot. And they could have tied it to Leia's rememberance of her. Shortly after giving birth, she goes into hiding with Leia on Alderan. Perhaps due to her Rebel activities, she's killed and the raising of Leia falls to Bail Organa and his wife. Years later, Leia follows in her mother's footsteps and tries to aid in reestablishing the Republic that meant so much to her. I should have written this film...
Just got back from seeing Revenge at the theatre. Went with a friend. I was actually unsure about watching it, as the previous two in this trilogy were so bad. So the lights dimmed and the movie started.

I was surprised, mostly because I kept seeing exact shots and dialog with different actors from both previous SW movies! I even saw an entire remake of the opening to the movie "Pitch Black". The only scene in the entire movie that worked correctly, Yoda dispatching the red Imperial Guards. I laughed and knew that was the intent.

This movie did nothing to make me care about anyone in the movie. Let them all die, I had no investment in them. As young Skywalker is turning to the dark side, I am supposed to feel sorry. But instead Lucas has presented nothing to make me care bout the characters in this movie. I'm interested in the events, but the story is slow paced, and dull.

I should have read someone's spoilers and saved myself $7.50.

- Padme is in perfect health and dies of a broken heart.
I guess (thougfh this is over thinking on my part cuz Lucas doesn't think this deep) I felt that if the Sith can manipulate the genes to create Anakin, they can off his wife and have the Jedi think its heartache.

Half Star.

Raoul
There were a lot of 'tributes' to the first trilogy. Though, I found it odd that Anakin echoed lines generally associated with Han, specifically "This is where the fun begins" and "I have a bad feeling about this."

I did like Yoda dispatching the guards, it was humor organic to the story.
Padme is in perfect health and dies of a broken heart. PUH-LEEZE. She had nothing left to live for without her Ani.

WHAT!?! Wow, that's extraordinarily lame.
Ugh, the Padme-dying-in-childbirth-lapse-in-continuity thing bugged the hell out of me. I was like, "WHAT? WHAT? Do you even remember your own movies?"
For me, the biggest lapse in coninuity ever was on The X-Files when Mulder said to Scully "I don't know, I'm not a psychologist." Um, YES YOU ARE! Well, George, you are now Chris Carter's equal on my shit list.
Ow! That doesn't sound at all promising. Still, I am going all for the Ewan, so I'm glad that at least doesn't disappoint. ;)

Anna! ::tackles you::

Ewan was great. He did a remarkable job of making you believe that this was the character that Alec Guinness created, yet still was able to make it his own...if that makes any sense.
It is perfectly plausible that the galaxy far far away has male Vampire Slayers.

I am just not sure it has vampires, and that's the root of their problems. Natural selection goes the wrong way.

The turn to the Dark Side could have been much more intersting and plausible and tragic... it can be explained as is - I read several reviews selenak provided links to, and they had some fun stuff in it (including fanwank how Padme could really just organize her own funeral - she always used decoys like that)

But still...George Lucas loves teh toys too much. How would he to know that we love people?
George loves talking about the tech, but try to get a straight answer out of him regarding the story and the characters. And the fanwank about Padme using a double? I wouldn't be surprised if he uses it when someone brings up the continuity gaff with Leia's discussion of her mother in 'Jedi'. I think it all pisses me off because this trilogy could have been magnificent if he had left the writing to others. But, no, his tremendous ego got in the way and he couldn't even muster mediocre.
I just realized if you rearrange the letters in 'Sith' you get Shit.

I actually liked the movie, but....

The shorthand of Revenge of the Sith? Spells out ROTS. So very amused.

Also (pet peeve!), PADME IS NOT NINE MONTHS PREGNANT WITH TWINS. I have seen pictures of my mother when she was carrying me and my sister, and she was out to THERE. There is no WAY Padme is far enough along to deliver TWO healthy babies. One? MAYBE. Two? Not unless she's only six months along, AT MOST.

ROTS works too! ;)

Oh, yeah, the pregnancy padding was a real joke. And I love how she runs off the ship to Anakin. I've never been pregnant, but I have friends who have been and they weren't running anywhere!
I actually liked the movie. Watching parts of AOTC tonight put new light on the events in ROTS. Yes, Grievous was pointless and Natalie Portman delivered her most wooden performance as Padme.

More of my thoughts on ROTS can be found at:
http://enterline2.tripod.com/revengeofthesith.html

I enjoyed reading all the debate on this movie from people who liked it or hated it.
It's intersting seeing the reactions to the films. I know many people enjoyed it and I know there are many people like myself who didn't. My big problem is I know that these films could have been great had the egomaniac passed off the writing duties to, well, someone who can write. And I spent a lot of time thinking about 'Farscape' and 'Galactica' and how well those creations have managed to balance space battles with psychological battles.

Grievous? I pretty much forgot him until you mentioned him. Yeah, great villian you conceived George. :p