The only ones that have a clue as to who is right and who is wrong are the writers and even they don't like to draw conclusions too often. That's what makes the show so great, we all have the ability to see the show as we wish to see it and how many shows can you say that about?
James raised some interesting (and valid) points in giving his interpretation of certain events. So here's my interpretation of his interpretation's. :p
Spike and Buffy didn’t have sex that last night.
James has always believed that Spike is beneath Buffy – which she is, as the hero, deserving of better. Add to the mix that he believes an AR is not something a couple can come back from (hard to argue with that point). Spike would agree with this. In ‘Touched’ and ‘End of Days’ he makes his feelings clear while expecting nothing in return. He’s accepted the situation as is. So, when James states that Spike would not have attempted to resurrect a sexual relationship with Buffy, I agree with him.
However, what if Buffy were to make the first move? It was she who went to him in the basement. And if it’s something she wanted, would Spike have turned her down? Regardless of what Spike tells himself is the right thing to do, I can’t fathom his desire to be with her has lessened and, given the opportunity, he would decline.
Angel is Buffy’s one true love and who she is meant to be with.
This I don’t accept, though I don’t fault him for his opinion – SMG has stated the same thing on numerous occasions. Frankly, maybe Buffy is destined to not reunite with either of them. For all the problems she and Spike had, I just don’t see that a relationship with Angel would be any more successful. She may still hold on to the romantic ideal, but both she and Angel have changed in their time apart. Do they know each other as they are now? If they were given any real time to spend together I think they would see for themselves that it ain’t gonna work.
And I’m not sure even Joss knows who, if anyone, Buffy should end up with. He left things ambivalent enough to keep us guessing while having Buffy, in her cookie dough metaphor, verbalize that she’s not ready for any kind of commitment now and it could be a long time in coming.
In response to Buffy’s “I Love You”, Spike was being honest when he said “No, you don’t”.
On this point, as far as I can tell, James’ original statement was taken out of context and distorted. He doesn’t believe Buffy is in love with Spike. That perhaps she wanted to believe it, or at least give that belief to him before he died, but Spike knows better. Fair enough. And even though Spike has grown considerably in maturity and emotional health, I still believe he holds on to a very black and white view of love. Buffy does care about Spike and I think her actions have shown that throughout the season. For me, the words have always meant less then how showed her affection and in the last few episodes her actions spoke volumes. Buffy definitely cared deeply about Spike and I think Spike knew that, it’s just she. Perhaps, wasn’t giving him the love he had sought for so long. Then again, given her admittance that she needs to find herself before committing to one person, she may yet realize she shares his definition of love.