Asta 2

A New Perspective on Things

As my chat room compatriots know I was pretty pissed off last night. It's not so much I mind being discussed, just don't manipulate what I supposedly said or outright lie about me when doing it. I was all prepared to defend myself and refute certain statements. Heck, I filled two pages of a legal pad with my counterpoints and personal disgust with the whole situation.

Then as I finished writing I looked at the clock last night realizing I had spent a large chunk of the night dealing with this. I said to myself "What the Hell are you doing? Why are you wasting your time on this crap and the person who can't seem to let it go?"

For those of you who don't know (and probably don't care) this involves the board I was formerly a member. I thought the problem was resolved. God knows I moved on. But, yesterday afternoon, I have to see this dreck brought back up again. I swear, I next expect to discover I'm responsible for the unrest in the Middle East.

I could waste more time refuting things that were said or implied. But, I figured I've already wasted enough time on this subject. The people who know me know what kind of person I am and since I haven't lost any friends over this I'll take it as a good sign. Whether it was wise of me to voice my displeasure with aspects of the board is open to debate. But, I did it, I live (quite well) with my decision, and have been fortunate to become acquainted with some great individuals because of it.

Now, for people who don't know me, it just seems silly to try to refute claims that have been made. They have no reason to believe me and it merely becomes an ongoing cycle of she said/she said. Frankly, I just want the cycle to end. It's pointless to argue and accuse, only draining my energies and I have far better things to do with my time.

OK, I do feel compelled to say this, for my own personal record, I never viewed fellow posters who disagreed with me as stupid, wasn't devastated by the loss of chat since it took all of 24 hours to find a new one, and have never hated the board or people who post there. I don't hate anything or anyone period. Did I dislike a few people? Yeah, sure. Then again, I work in an office with over three hundred employees, I don't like all of them either.

I really hope this is over now. I actually flirted with the idea of re-registering and posting in an attempt to clean some of this mess up. Course, bit hard to do when the thread is locked.
  • Current Mood: determined determined
I'm sorry that you had to deal with that shit, Asta. But, on the other hand, I'm glad that you've decided to ignore it. Because it's a big load of horse shit and you're far, far too good for that. Let them say what they want...you know you did nothing wrong, and so does everyone else that is you know, sane.

Don't stress ::kisses::
It seems some people have a problem moving on. I have a difficult time understanding why they are giving you any trouble, for you always conducted yourself there with class. You shouldn't have to waste your time refuting their drivel. You (as usual) did the right thing. We who really know you understand that.
It's pointless to argue and accuse, only draining my energies and I have far better things to do with my time.

A big ol' Word! to you.
As the wise and grown-up Tara once said, "If you don't want to fight, you don't fight."

Really, the best way to end vicious cycle is to walk away.

And we have so much to walk toward. Like our charming cycle of slatchuts.

Love you.
Hi,

I also saw the post you are referring to. Since I felt that at least one remark was--indirectly but still--directed at me I emailed the author because I thought there was some misunderstanding and I wanted to clarify certain things. What a mistake. I got two emails full of accusations, insults and other stuff (the second because I had emailed her back to try and defend myself). The best part: after having to wade through all the crap in the second email I was told not to email her again because she had already wasted enough time on this matter.

For about five minutes I was very upset, even thought of replying in public in my LJ. But suddenly my mood changed and I couldn't but find all this really funny. Just think of it: why does someone spend so much time (those emails were pretty long) to insult a person who means nothing and doesn't deserve to be treated in a decent and grown-up way?

This kind of behaviour and dealing with other people speaks for itself. To try and defend yourself and/or explain and clarify things wouldn't change a thing, on the contrary.

Also, you can be sure that person is reading all this. She even saw my comment in your LJ (31-05) and read my post about my problems with BBB in another LJ. And that was 'after' she posted in the same thread and said she wouldn't come back to read your reply.

So, I agree, this is not worth wasting any more time. There are lots of other and more pleasant places to meet friends and other fans of the show.

Cheers,
drcoulter

PS: In case you wonder, I deleted my original comment to replace it with this slightly edited version.:-)
Just think of it: why does someone spend so much time (those emails were pretty long) to insult a person who means nothing and doesn't deserve to be treated in a decent and grown-up way?


Amen to that. I've asked myself that same question on numerous occassions. I could hazzard to guess a few reasons, but best to keep them to myself.

Also, you can be sure that person is reading all this. She even saw my comment in your LJ (31-05) and read my post about my problems with BBB in another LJ. And that was 'after' she posted in the same thread and said she wouldn't come back to read your reply.

LOL and thanks for mentioning it. I suspected as much or that, at the very least, someone was reading and reporting back. I frankly don't care since it seems to be upsetting others far more than me. At least I admit I look in on the board on occassion.

I'm just glad you shrugged this all off Drcoulter. It is a bit of a shock to the system when confronted with accusations and not so pleasent behavior. Dwelling in negativity and anger only does harm to the mind and body. It's much healthier to laugh it off and move on as we have.

Do you have an IM account? Might be interesting to chat sometime. If you do, just e-mail it to me (you can find an e-mail on my user info) and I'll send you mine back.






I'm just glad you shrugged this all off Drcoulter. It is a bit of a shock to the system when confronted with accusations and not so pleasent behavior. Dwelling in negativity and anger only does harm to the mind and body. It's much healthier to laugh it off and move on as we have.

Sorry for the belated reply, I wasn't around for a couple of days, needed a time out (job, family--the usual:-)))

Actually the shrugging off was rather easy once I realised that even though that person tried to insult me in any way she could think of she didn't actually talk about me because she doesn't know me at all! And that's probably how people--like journalists-- deal with hatemail (and that's what it was). It's not about them, it's about the author of the mail venting and bitching and bashing and having someone to direct all their hatred to.

Do you have an IM account? Might be interesting to chat sometime. If you do, just e-mail it to me (you can find an e-mail on my user info) and I'll send you mine back.

No, I don't have one. It might be a good idea, though. I'm so slow with posting and commenting, and many times the people (LJ owners or others) have long moved on and forgotten about the whole issue, like in this case. And chatting would be fun, I think. I haven't done it before so it's about time, isn't it.:-))
Asta, you are so right to take the high road. You know who your real friends are and what they think of you. There would be no way to defend yourself to people that have chosen to attack you behind your back. They don't want your reasonings nor would they be willing to listen even if you chose to speak up. All it would serve is to aggravate and frustrate you, as well as be a colossal waste of time. Obviously they knew this would get back to you to hurt you with this thread. My, isn't that grown up behavior...not. And no, I don't give a shit who reads this.

I guess there's a number of people willing to give you power over them, Asta. ;-) Who'd a thunk it?

Cindy
I guess there's a number of people willing to give you power over them, Asta. ;-) Who'd a thunk it?

Hee hee hee. Funny, to look at me I don't think I'm all that powerful or intimidating. Then again, that little girl in the white room on Angel was scary as Hell so appeaerances can be deceiving. :)