Asta 2

I Can't Think of a Subject Line

After I posted last night I backtracked on my friends list to see what I had missed.

I was very excited to find that cousinjean has posted the complete and finalized version of THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT. If you haven't yet read her story, go do so now. If you have read it, I recommend reading it again - I plan too - it's that bloody brilliant. :)

I also came across onetwomany's post discussing relationships or lack there of. I was most happy to see that I'm not alone in my reasoning on such matters.

My theory is I'd rather be alone and happy (most of the time) then be stuck in a miserable relationship just so I can say "My Boyfriend". I don't want to date just to date. Why waste my time if I know there is zero potential of it becoming serious?

I can't tell you how many times I've been called "high maintenance" or told my "standards are too high" and I should "lower them". Um, why? It's more important to be with some loser than be independent and happy? I don't think so.

Now, there was a guy that worked in our mailroom (he no longer does - long story) and people pressured me (repeatedly) to go out with him because we'd be 'perfect' together. Granted, we had things in common. Both of us had a background in art, both worked in Frame Shops at one point, and both of us were big Buffy fans. But, this does not make us a match made in Heaven. What people didn't take into consideration is that, at 36, working in the mailroom was the best job he ever had. I don't mean to sound like a snob, but I want a guy who is financially sound and not drifting from menial job to menial job with no aspirations of bettering his life.

Plus, and here is what *really* bothered me was his superiority complex. He honestly saw himself as smarter than almost everyone he came into contact with. I always felt it was if I was supposed to be honored that he even was willing to have a conversation with me. Of course, try to point out when he made a mistake in a conversation and he would never concede his error.

The thing is, I've met guys who I liked (a lot) and were right for me but there was something that prevented it from going any farther. You know Alanis Morrisette's song 'Ironic' and the line "meeting the man of my dreams and then meeting his beautiful wife"? Been there, done that.

So, I shall keep waiting for Mr Right and refuse to settle for Mr Right Now. Maybe it will be awhile or possibly never, but I prefer being a relatively happy I than a miserable we.

And for some final randomness....

Thank you onlyoot for the lovely e-card. It was most appreciated.

And for those that don't already know, I will not be attending the Con in Oakland. I'll save you all my rant and just say, for ethical reasons, I cannot attend.

Happy belated new year to all of you.
  • Current Mood: content content
I prefer being a relatively happy I than a miserable we.

Amen to that.
I agree with you. Why go out with somebody just for the sake of going out with somebody?

So, I shall keep waiting for Mr Right and refuse to settle for Mr Right Now. Maybe it will be awhile or possibly never, but I prefer being a relatively happy I than a miserable we

Sing it, sister! :)
I remember when I first started working my mom would ask me if there were any nice young men at work. As the years went on, and family and friends married, then divorced, she stopped asking me, and then starting telling me that all she wanted was for me to be happy, and if that meant being single that was fine with her. Not that I needed her approval, but I was glad that she realized I could make myself happy and take care of myself.

I was glad that she realized I could make myself happy and take care of myself.

My mother never ever got that. And made herself miserable because she was so sure I must be miserable. She just couldn't wrap her emotions or understanding around the legitimacy of choices that didn't involve marriage and kids. She couldn't imagine happiness ensuing from such choices. For her, there was only one way.

So, I've said it before, and I'll say it again:

There's more than one way to live a life.
I'm sorry your mom didn't understand, she would have been much happier herself.

My grandmother had eight sisters, and some never married, and when two of the others were widowed they moved back in with their sisters. They all lived together, got along, worked (which was highly unusual among daughters of immigrants), pooled their money and went to Hawaii and Italy among other places. They were also very generous to their nieces and nephews. The last of them passed away in 1999 at the age of 98, and she was sharp as a tack to the last. They were an inspiration to all of us.

Ironically, one of them was always after my mother to get married ;)
My mother has never pressured me to find someone. When I started at Warner, she did make some comments about perhaps finding someone nice there, but never made a big issue out of it.

Now, unless I find someone 'perfect' for me, she actually dissuades me from getting married. Not that she is putting down my father or hated her marriage, but there was a lot of sacrifice involved. Unless I find the right person, she doesn't see that it's worth it if I can be just as happy on my own.

She's honest enough to have told me that she never even considerd getting married herself until she met my dad and why she settled (and I don't mean settled in a negative way) upon him. Our thinking is very similar, so until I meet the guy who fits most, if not all, of my criteria, I'm not budging.
Makes pefect sense to me. If I were to get married at this point in my life, it would be for companionship, and it would have to be someone I actually want to spend a lot of time with ;) Also financially secure - I am so not supporting him. So waiting and keeping your standards high is perfectly right.

My mom didn't get married till she was 35, so I think she understood why I wasn't in any hurry. I think some of the family used to nag her about why we weren't married, and it got on her nerves. I think she eventually just stopped answering them.
Also financially secure - I am so not supporting him.

Preaching to the choir on that point! Before I seriously commit to amyone I need full financial disclosure - bank statements, stocks, 401K investments, credit reports.... ;)
Hmmmm. also THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT is the name of a new sci-fi movie starring Ashton Kutcher and it is supposed to be out this month in theaters (but it is strange how some things end up with the same title).
Whenever I see publicity for 'he Butterfly Effect' for a brief second I think they made a movie of CJ's fic. Wishful thinking on my part. :) I know the film is based on a novel. I keep thinking by Ray Bradbury, but I'm not sure that is correct.

I saw the trailer for the film this weekend. It didn't look bad. If only Ashton wasn't in it. :p
At least it isn't a sequel to "Dude, Where's My Car?". shudder. Thankfully, Ashton decided to end Punk'd after it's current season (I hope he listened to all the people who hated that show).

I am curious to see if Ashton can do some serious acting (even though none of his comedy stuff interests me including That 70's Show- a show I don't like anyway).